Going to Disney

by MaryBeth

We are hog-tied, all of us.  We are no longer allowed to not have things or not do things.  I tried not having an answering machine and my family got so angry with me they quit calling.  I tried not having email and the parents in my children’s school refused to communicate with me about field trips and class picnics. (Unless they wanted me to drive.  Then they found a way.)  I still don’t have a cell phone and am constantly harrassed for that.  And for many years, we did not take our children to Disney World.

     Now I don’t know how it is in your neck of the woods, but out here in Upstate, everyone “Goes to Disney.”  At least once.  The end of every school vacation brought the inevitable announcement of who had spent the last 7 days at Disney.  I finally said to Chris,

     “If we don’t take them to Disney World soon, they will have one more thing to tell the therapist about how we ruined their lives.”

     “What’s the current count?”

     “Well, the Espinosas, the O’Hanrahans and the Dingwalls just got back and that brings it to 20 out of 25 for The Boy’s Class, 19 out of 20 for Sweetie and a perfect game for Little Miss Sunshine, her entire class has gone but her.”

     Chris thought a minute.

     “Tell the kids we’re going to Disney World.”

     “What??”

     “Tell them we’re going to Disney World as soon as Little Miss Sunshine solves the Rubik’s Cube, or The Boy reads 4 books in four weeks, or Sweetie learns to ride a unicycle.”

PAUSE….

     “You are SOOOO SMART.”

     “Thank you.”

Well folks, that was two and a half years ago.  There was method to my husband’s madness.  Each of those challenges was geared to a weakness in each of the children.  Suffice it to say that if they had traded challenges we would have been obligated to a trip south within 24 hours.  But there was No Trading Allowed.

     The Boy started his first book with all the gusto of a puppy starting up Everest.  Can’t wait to get there.  Till we hit the first hill.  That was pretty much it.  Oh darn.  No Disney.

     Sweetie got a unicycle from her grandmother for Christmas and announced she could not learn to ride with everyone home and would we all please go to a movie or something.  We saw  more movies in two weeks than Roger Ebert has seen in a lifetime.  Wait, is he the one that died?  Sorry Roger.  Eventually we came home one day to find a knife sticking out of the one tire of the unicycle and the announcement that nobody could learn to ride that thing and who needs DisneyWorld anyway, it’s hot and the lines are long.  Two down.

     And then there’s Little Miss Sunshine, who suffered from low self-esteem and a belief that she was stupid, (fueled by her teachers…more on that later)  looking at the Rubik’s Cube.  Then she removed all the stickers and put them back on in order and handed it back to us with the calm self-assurance of a professional thief.  Unfortunately for her, her 11 year old eyes didn’t notice that most of the stickers only half stuck, and it was a little obvious that there had been some foul-play.   So we made her clean the house the $10 worth of a Rubik’s Cube, bought her a new one and told her to try again.  The year went by and she worked the cube.  Very quickly she was beyond my skill level, which surprised me because I’m a dang genius. (Except I just had trouble spelling ‘genius.’)  She worked the cube so hard that she wore them out.  As she wore them out, we replaced them.  She would get it solved except for two corners.  She would get it solved except for one row.  We had given her permission to use any source, including the internet, but her learning challenges made it difficult for her to follow the instructions, so it was easier for her to just use her brain.  She became one of those kids that could solve it to a point without even looking at it.  Turn the thing so fast you couldn’t see what she was doing.  And then in February I drove in the driveway and she ran down to meet me, opening the door before the car was even stopped.  The cube was in her hand.  Solved.  “I called Emma in North Carolina tonight and we solved it together!  Mom I solved the Rubik’s Cube!!”  Solved it over the span of two and a half years.  Solved it against all odds.  Solved it while she thought she was stupid.  Two weeks later,

WE ALL WENT TO DISNEY.