by MaryBeth
I have survived 15 Mother’s Days. So I consider myself a veteran. Now if your children are small, you have to rely on your spouse to carry the day for you. Think about it. The man has probably gotten through life signing his name on his sisters’ cards, or piping up with “It’s from both of us!” with his Dad….after College he may have gotten Mother a card if she was lucky and happened to live close by. (The added complication of putting a stamp on it and finding a mailbox, let alone figuring out what her new address is at least three full days beforehand was probably too much to ask. Many a beautiful Mother’s Day card spent the year as a fly swatter in the front seat of the car…) But that’s OK because this really has no bearing on the amount of love a man feels for his mother. I will tell you why. Men don’t get Mother’s Day. Why should they? Birthdays, sure that’s easy. Valentine’s Day is a little harder to grasp but most men catch on because there is always the hope that at the end of the night all will be rewarded in the form of the thing a man feels is worth the extra effort. But Mother’s Day…not so much. As a husband, it is confusing to have the responsibility of honoring your wife as a mother, when honestly, she hasn’t had nearly the time for you she used to have, and doesn’t seem to mind that at all. And yet, she seems to expect a lot for Mother’s Day. For many men, the pressure is too great and you may find that on this one day of the year your spouse will consistently pick a fight with you. On Mother’s Day! Or he may choose Mother’s Day to go out with The Boys for a pick up game of basketball. This is the escape mode. If he’s a drinker, you can add a 6 pack of beer to the scene. These poor fellows are so flummoxed by Mother’s Day they don’t know where to turn and thus, retreat into their favorite happy place. If you find your spouse asleep on the couch with the game on and the paper over his head, you know he is out of his mind with anxiety. Best to just take the children and go feed the ducks in the park at this point. You will find lots of other mothers in your same situation. The only solution for a long term improvement is to relieve the pressure. There are many ways to do this. A good romp in the hay is one. It is amazing how quickly and easily this will turn a bad Mother’s Day into a “What Can I Do For You Baby” Mother’s Day. If possible, this is a good way to start the morning, and that odd breakfast of Godonlyknows that the kids bring you will really taste good afterwards. For some, this may not be possible due to the kids waking up first and bouncing on you until someone gets up to play “Where’s Waldo.” For those poor souls, I suggest simply taking all the pressure off Mother’s Day, days in advance, by insisting that the only thing you want is a bouquet of flowers and new batteries for the remote control. If you say this and mean it, I guarantee the Day will be yours and you probably won’t be making dinner. Of course a roll in the hay somewhere in there will help your cause considerably, but we all do what we can. Just remember ladies, that you mustn’t judge each Mother’s Day on its own merit, but rather you must judge them over time. You will notice, as I have, that the Mother’s Day graph of Years As A Mother on the x axis, over Time Mother Spends Crying on the y axis, will yield a nice little downward trend if you follow my advice. No Mother’s Day is perfect, remember, but they can be made pleasant with just a bit of attention. And remember the old standby: A Box of Chocolates in the laundry room has gotten many a mother through the most trying of Mother’s Days.
