by MaryBeth
Chris came home this weekend with a good idea.
“I’m doing a mental cleanse,” he announced. “ I am going to go 21 days with no negative thoughts. If I get a negative thought, I have 120 seconds to get rid of it.”
“Hey that sounds like a good idea. How many days have you gone?”
“Six.”
At that point Little Miss Sunshine popped in.
“Mom, I need a new white shirt for the Spring Concert.”
“No. Wear the white shirt you wore for the Winter Concert.”
“Mom, it has snowmen and holly leaves all over it, I want a new white shirt for the Spring Concert.”
“No. Here’s $4. Go down to the Thrift Store and knock yourself out.”
“Dad?”
“Honey, can she get a new shirt?”
“No. All her clothes are all over her floor all the time. Walking through there is like walking through the Bouncy House at the Fair. Plus she drips chocolate ice cream all over anything white and thinks it’s funny.”
“I don’t mean to, and it is funny.”
“It’s not funny.”
“Dad, do you think it’s funny when I accidently drip chocolate ice cream on every white shirt I’ve ever owned?”
“Not if your mother doesn’t think it’s funny.”
“Mom, I’ll get in trouble if I don’t have a white shirt for the Spring Concert.”
“Honey, you were born in trouble. Go down to the Thrift Store, they have a whole rack of white shirts.”
“I hate the clothes from the Thrift Store. They make me smell weird.”
“I’ve smelled worse things than you in Thrift Store clothes.”
“Dad? Shouldn’t I be able to wear a new shirt for a big event like the Spring Concert?”
“It’s not a perfect world. Now off you go.”
“Dad, you said you’d talk to her.”
“I did. Off you go.”
“Dad, you know she’s being ridiculous. You said you’d talk to her.”
“All talked out. Off you go. Off you go.”
“Dad!!!”
“AND THERE WENT MY 120 SECONDS!! OFF YOU GO!!”
Silence. Off goes Little Miss Sunshine. Not quite so sunny .
“So… you have to start all over?”
“YEP.”
“Pretty mad about that?”
“YEP.”
“Before you start I need to tell you that I missed a car insurance payment, we were uninsured for 11 days by accident and the State of New York is now confiscating your license plates and registration.”
Pause.
“Is that it?”
“And I think I’m pregnant.”
“Oh?”
“No. But now the car thing doesn’t seem so bad, does it?”
“No.”
“Good. OK. Good Luck with the mental cleanse thing.”
“Thanks.”
